You've had 'em, you know you have. Today is one of those days when it is important, very important, to just keep feeding me as much refined sugar and salt as you can possibly find. Just keep it coming and we may make it through this day unscathed. It would be wise to permit, make that encourage, me to nap in between fixes of sugar and/or salt. I've eaten a Hershey bar, pretzels, and "caramel" toast. I washed 'em down with a Diet Coke....caffeinated, thankyouverymuch. These are things I don't eat when I have my wits about me.
I've warned Bob. He knows what he should do when he gets home. Sometimes he likes to live on the edge, today might be one of those moments. I've even explained that there are times in a woman's life when biological factors swing in one way or another and it is best to just don the protective gear and hide. Don't be a hero, Bob; just pass me some Ho-ho's using a long stick.
In my altered state, I have agreed to go on a 10 day camping trip to Yellowstone. Now, it really isn't surprising that I am going to Yellowstone. I love it there, really I do. As for the Grand Tetons, I would gladly live there just to get up every morning and gaze upon their beauty. The key word in that topic sentence was camping. Yes, camping. Tent camping, even. Now, some of you know the story of the one, exactly one, time my family went camping when I was a child. My maternal grandparents LOVED camping, but my parents decidedly did NOT. The horrors of camping have been reiterated on a quarterly basis throughout my life.
Other "accomplishments" of the day include: showering, but not fixing my hair; wrapping wedding gifts, with new wrapping paper that somehow ended up being too big for the boxes yet pieced together at the ends; buying desired concert tickets on the radio auction; and throwing in certificates for three fast-food places just for good measure; and thawing porkchops, but so far I've not managed to cook them.
Ahhh, I love vacation. A million things on my to-do list, and exactly nothing accomplished. I think I'll just chalk it up to hormones and see if I can whip up some chocolate-covered potato chips.